“Siri,” a Norwegian woman’s name for “beautiful woman who leads you to victory.” I would change that to: “Siri,” the woman on your iPhone who can badly interpret your phrases and commands.” I’m sure some of you have experienced it for yourselves? Trying to be a safe and responsible driver I use the voice command to send or answer a text message from my wife. This is how it plays out: Her text: “What do you want for dinner tonight?” Siri: “How about the crap left from last night.” That went over real well. I was hoping for “crab legs” and that’s not what I got. It also gets pretty dicey, as it usually does, when it comes to me answering a question regarding fashion. Her text: “Should I wear the dress tonight I got in Chicago?” Siri: “That had bountiful fabric and it made you look flatulence!” “Beautiful and fabulous” was what I said, but this crazy Norwegian woman translator has a mind of her own. The lesson here is while trying to be safe on the roads, it can be dangerous once you get home. I’ve heard from many people who have this shared experience. Although the technology is impressive, Siri really needs to listen better. The listening skills, or the lack thereof made me wonder if Siri was really a dude with a gal’s voice? I did some investigative work and found out that four men owned the company that developed Siri and sold it to Apple. That explains a lot. Even without Siri, questions your wife asks can get tricky. You know them well. These are the questions when once asked, there is no gracious retreat. You can try the “I didn’t hear that so I’m not going to respond to her tactic.” Unfortunately, she’s sitting right next you in your car. Ladies, please pay attention here. I’m going to throw out a couple of questions you love to throw at us men. In both cases I’ll suggest an alternative question that will definitely get your man to respond. Here we go: “Does this dress make me look fat”? How about instead, “Honey what time does the ball game come on today?” or, instead of “Do you think (insert name) is pretty? Try this one, “Would you like me to mow the lawn this time?” See, us men acknowledge we’re simple creatures. Just give us easy questions.
Pete Ruffing is the Sales Director at M3 Group in downtown Lansing. He and his wife of 14 years Brenda live in Okemos.