Meant to be?
In my January column, I shared the beginning of my New Year’s online dating journey — dating with an open mind (fueled by a glass of wine, of course). My mind is now open to ask the question, “should I leave my search to fate or apply some strategy?” Since it appears that I’m managing one of the most critical areas of my life like a Google search, let me actually search Google for an answer. I just need a keyword to help me get things started … Let’s try the word “love”.
My search results returned advice about how to MAKE a man fall in love with you. Note to self: remove the word MAKE from any plans that include a man. My response to that statement is: “Mission Impossible.” The next result was a love calculator that allows you to add the first and last names of two interested people to see if you are compatible. Ok, now that’s ridiculous!
I always believed that fate would eventually cross paths with reality. One day, out of nowhere, there would be a chance meeting with my 1950s-type man, and we would have amazing chemistry. He would express his undying love by showering me with laughter and gifts. He would also hang on every word I say and attend to all of my needs. I guess it was a bit naive to assume that destiny would solely produce an amazing man who is only meant for me.
My original approach may have had a flaw or two, so letﾕs try this Google search again. New keyword(s) search: ﾒunconditional love.ﾓ Finally, I located a quote by Robert Brault; ﾒto find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is ultimate happiness.” The answer to my question (is dating a matter of ﾒfate or strategyﾓ) is that fate is fine when supported by standards (i.e. strategy). The good intentioned standards that are taught by the role models in my life. I hope that my fate will be shaped by worthy risks, and good intentions.
The Online Inbox
For the sideline observers out there, let me share the beginning steps of meeting Mr. Right on an online dating site: it’s an experience similar to receiving a flurry of emails that seem equally important and unimportant. Sifting through hilarious notes is a must; some can be quite comical and could actually provide informal training to future psychiatrists. On the other hand, for those of us who have good intentions and would simply like to meet our intended mate, it’s more important to pinpoint a sincere group of prospects that are looking for the same.
Luckily, the online profile includes a drop down menu selection so that you can display your true intentions. Specifically, the profile includes sentiments such as: I want a relationship; I want to date but nothing serious; I’m looking for casual dating; I’m serious and want to find someone to marry, that are available for selection. You have to give kudos to this “love on the run” concept — it eliminates the need to learn a person’s relationship goal. Now I can just read what was selected from a dropdown to replace months of conversations. I’m guessing that my dad would roll over in his grave if he learned of this dating style. Then he would relax again, because he knows that his capable daughter can hold
To start, greetings such as “hey sweetheart”, “I’d love to kiss those lips” or my favorite, “hello beautiful” begins the dialogue. I know what you’re thinking — Run!!!! Not yet, there are still charming men in the world. Hang in there with me and learn if they exist online. Here we go…
Infamous Inbox dialogue
Him: Hello. How are you on this cold day? (Yes, normal and cute.)
Me: Hi. I’m doing well on this BITTER cold day. (I’m so clever.)
Him: I think your beautiful. (I’m sure he realizes that “you’re” beautiful would be the correct spelling. Innocent mistake.)
Me: Why thank you kindly! (Am I charming or what?) How are you enjoying online dating?
Him: It’s not going that great. I’ve dated a few women so far but nothing serious. However, I did get a chance to talk to you so I can’t complain too badly. (Lovely, this guy gets it. Fortunately, I really get it. So he might want to brace himself.)
Me: Oh no! Hopefully, our luck will go in a positive direction. (I’m the true diplomat.)
Him: Mine already has. (Sweet talker!)
Since time will only tell what will transpire from this inbox chatter, the point of my story is to continue to let fate run its course while applying strategy. When standards are challenged, good intentions will step right in. Please don’t be mad that I didn’t share the outcome of my email exchange in this issue. We’ll take this journey together, one article at a time. Gotta love this thing I call “intentional dating.”
Keep following my dating adventure! firstname.lastname@example.org
Tags: dating, impossible, love, mind, mission, online, open