Love & War: I’ve Got This Friend


My best friend, Tina, has been doing her own online dating. We’ve talked about some of her matches and how well that’s working. She’s not what you might call “svelte” and doesn’t pretend to be into exercising on a regular, much less irregular, basis. Yet, she continues to receive profile matches with “love to exercise” or “I want my match to spot me.”

Recently, she received a match that she really felt would be a better match for me. So, she sent me an e-mail with his profile information and then called me saying, “I need you to read the e-mail I just sent you and tell me what you think about this guy.” Immediately, I was suspicious.

I admit it, I’m not into set ups of any kind and I was getting a whiff of it in on
this situation.

But reading the profile information, I thought he sounded like someone I might be interested in knowing. I decided to be slightly adventurous and asked to see the photo.

Now comes the interesting part. Tina contacted Charles (the mystery man) and let him know that she didn’t think they were a good match but she added, “I’ve got this friend…” I can only imagine his initial reaction when he read her message. He sent her a response with his e-mail address stating that while this was a little unorthodox, “stranger things have happened.”

This is slightly nerve wracking, as Tina doesn’t really know Charles, but she knows me. It’s not quite the same as setting someone up on a date when you know both parties involved. So here is what I’m telling myself on this one:

It’s not set in stone

At any time I can jump out of this thing. Just because we start e-mailing doesn’t automatically mean I have to see this through if it’s not working.

New friendship

I believe that for a relationship to truly last, friendship has to be the foundation. If you can’t be friends with someone it’s tough to go very deep. Someone once said to ask yourself if you can be friends with this person instead of asking if they are the “right one.” Worst case scenario, I’ll find out if I can count Charles as a friend.

Stay Cool

Cool, calm and collected – that’s what I need to be. Regardless of what happens, there are always lessons to be learned from relationships … whether they work out or fall apart. So, here I go.

Tags: dating, Love and War, online dating

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