Love & War: Merry Pressure and Happy Family Meetings: Dating and the Holidays
In October, the guy I’ve been seeing asked me what I was doing for the holidays. I decided to be cute and ask him which holidays … like Halloween? It was a few days away at the time. To which he informed me that Halloween wasn’t really a holiday.
When it comes to the “real” holidays and dating, especially with a new relationship, it’s easy (at least for many women) to get caught up in wanting to meet his family and having him meet your family and “What should I get him for Christmas and what are we doing for New Year’s Eve” and…and…and. Two words — slow down. The mind is a terrible thing to have running around unsupervised, so be sure you get that thing on a leash right away.
It Must Be Serious…
First of all, give the guy a shot at asking you about meeting the family at the holidays. If he doesn’t bring it up there may be a reason — like he’s not ready. These days many women like to move things along and get to the next step. They feel the holidays are an obvious time for him to introduce them and show that the relationship is serious — at least to the woman. News flash — men don’t necessarily need the family gathering for the relationship to be serious.
No Change of Plans
If your man brings it up like mine did and you have plans, state the plans. The mental gymnastics that we tend to do to figure out the “hidden agenda” as to why he’s asking and “How can I make it to his family’s plus be at Grandma Mitzi’s?” is ridiculous. He may just be wondering what you’re doing. Feel free to ask him what his plans are too without having an agenda.
Enjoy the Sleigh Ride
Sleigh rides are a perfect example of just enjoying the company you’re with and not worrying about where you’re going. The holidays are a stressful time for many people and can bring out the worst in human nature. If that’s the case in your family, do you really want to introduce someone new to that when the relationship itself is new? Yes, let’s drop them in a room of that for several hours with 20 people they don’t know.
This holiday season, if you’re dating, keep it fun and easy going. Give your mind a warm beverage to relax and just see where the sleigh ride takes you.
Tags: dating, Love and War