The Dating Drought: A Not-So-Bad Break from Relationships


This winter I’ve experienced a drought, in terms of dating. Part of that drought was self-imposed.

I decided that I needed to end a couple of my dating Web site memberships. The type of man I’m interested in wasn’t showing up through them. I was getting everything but what I wanted. Now to the frugal person, ending it before you’ve gotten your money’s worth may seem like a bad idea; but I say it’s a bad idea to hang on to the end when you keep getting the same thing. Plus, there are no refunds in the dating world — only returns.

As for the other part of the drought, people are checking the produce, but not putting it in the cart.

So what have I done during this time? I decided to take a look at the past few dating relationships and see what I wanted to change about myself. Since you really can’t change someone else, there is only one other person to consider. Here are three things I want
to become:

More relaxed

As much as I think I’ll love them, relationships don’t follow the script I have in my mind. I feel I’ve got a pretty good one too, and yet nobody’s reading it. I just need to get rid of the script and just see what happens when I let things play out.

A non-analyzer

If you are like me, you analyze every conversation, facial twitch and hand gesture. It’s ridiculous, and it causes more problems than it solves. Most guys are straightforward, and what you see is what you get.

Willing to ask forgiveness

Relationships are not one-sided; if they are, they don’t work out. In reviewing my past dating relationships, I know that there is one person that I need to ask for forgiveness. It’s not an easy conversation to have because you’re basically saying “I was wrong; this is how; I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?” Even if that forgiveness is not extended, I’ve done what I needed to from my end.

As I slough off the dead layers from this self-evaluation, I realize that this winter drought in dating hasn’t been a total loss. I believe I am becoming a better, more beautiful person internally. I believe that I can take the lessons learned and put them to good use in the next go-round. I’m ready for winter to be over so I can start to bloom again.

Tags: analyzing relationship, dating, dating in Lansing, online dating, tiana hawver

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