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With a Capital EM: Straight up I’ll tell you, Change is Good

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I don’t think it’s any coincidence that when I was little Paula Abdul was my hero. First of all, Emilo Estevez was one of my celebrity crushes and for a brief time in my childhood they were married, so combine that with her killer dance moves, totally rockin’ sense of style and her musical talents (which I didn’t believe could be surpassed) and there you have it. A hero was born. I’ve grown out of my Paula phase (although I’ve still got the buttons I bought at a show during her Spellbound tour) there is something she taught me that I’ll never forget: Opposites attract. Remember that super cool video where she sang and danced with MC Skat Kat? Well, I do. And to tell you the truth I think of it often, especially when dealing with my better half. In many ways we are polar opposites with one thing in common — each other. One of the biggest differences we have is our view on change. I love it. He, well, he needs to think twice and then think again and then ask questions and then weigh the pros and cons and then think again and then tell me “no.” I’m sure there’s a scientific explanation for our difference — which he’s probably interested in researching and I couldn’t care less about. What I care about is proving my point to him that change is a good thing. Yes, good or bad, change comes with a slew of emotions. And maybe that’s why some people don’t like change — frankly change is a lot of work. First you have to make a choice to change, do the work i.e. invest the money, time and energy to change and then deal with the waterfall of thoughts and feelings that follow. If you’re anything like me, by the time you’ve cleaned up after one change you’re ready for the next. What can I say, I bore easily. Matt — not so much. But as Paula advised, all of this is a good thing. First of all, I’ve learned to pick my change requests wisely. This has definitely saved me on a couple of occasions. I’ll be mid negotiation and realize it was a bad idea to begin with. Secondly, being paired with a person who challenges me, has made me realize just how much in my life I have to be content with. If it weren’t for him holding up that mirror every once in a while I’d be making changes willy nilly and missing out on all of the great stuff I’ve already got going on. The last and best part of our yin and yang is that when we decide together to make a change and things are better for it (which is true 99 percent of the time), there is someone there to thank me for being the one pushing us forward. And just ask Paula, having fans is the best!
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Tags: Change, marriage, Paula Abdul

Emily Caswell

Emily Caswell is the Managing Editor of CAWLM. She has a passion for fun, family, friends, shopping sprees, cold drinks and Lansing.