Giving “healthy” a shot

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Ugh. I have all these minor ailments that would likely be mitigated by a healthier diet, but I love chips. And not just any chips — potato chips — the potato chips whose advertising slogan used to be, “Bet you can’t eat just one!” Oh, I do like the usual flat chips, yet I LOVE folded-over chips; because there’s double the grease in each bite.

About a year ago, I moved into a quiet Okemos neighborhood and who should live across the street from me but a woman I’ve heard speak at a nutrition seminar. Her name is LouAnn. She reps a line of nutritional supplements and garden towers, nifty contraptions that allow you to grow vegetables on your deck or indoors, year-round.

LouAnn believed I could be healthier, and she patiently waited for me to admit it. She then let me try out her products, like the capsules and gummies that help fill in for the nutritious foods I can’t make time for, because they cut into my chip time. In the end, it wasn’t long before I was her customer.

One morning, we were seated together at a seminar on mindfulness. The instructor had everyone smell a raisin, then hold it to our ears and squeeze it so we could hear its squishy crackle. Eventually, we were told to place the raisin on our tongues, to taste it and roll it around in our mouths. At last, we were told we could eat the raisin. Afterward, LouAnn asked how I felt about the exercise, and I said, “I felt a little guilty eating something I’d gotten to know so well.”

This is just like me! I struggle with the simplest health concepts even though I believe in them, even though writing about wellness is part of how I earn my living. I tend to overthink — at least I think I do.

It soon came to pass that I went on Facebook one day where, lo and behold, LouAnn had signed me up for a group that advocates exercise and nutrition. They were planning a 10-day detox, too. She and I sat on her deck and talked about it in the shadow of her blooming garden tower.

I’d never tried detoxing and wasn’t a fan, but the gist of this detox was eliminating certain things that research had shown might cause problems or make existing issues worse. In place of all the questionable goodies, you were to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, get enough protein and exercise most days; my favorite part was about getting plenty of sleep.

I did agree to the detox, and I’m still doing it as I write this article. It’s only been a week, and I haven’t been perfect, but I’ve done well. Last Friday, when a coworker grossed me out by flashing me the veggie smoothie in his mug, I suffered a temporary relapse. I told him it looked like he’d dredged it from a puddle and that the puddle was in a gutter and that the gutter was in a landfill. But when he offered me a taste, I found it unbelievably delicious. I’ve added his smoothie recipe to my eating plan to aid me in my detox.

Still, I have reservations: heaven forbid I eat healthier, exercise more and sleep better. It ruins chips for me, but I’ll take my chances.


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Teece Aronin

Teece Aronin is a blogger and columnist. Teece writes a humor/health and wellness column for the Oakland Press and is the Featured Writer for October at TrueHumor.com. Her artwork is available at the Redbubble.com store, phylliswalter, and Teece seriously considers any request for workshops, coaching, and speaking engagements. Read her blog at ChippedDemitasse.BlogSpot.com, contact her at paronin1@gmail.com and follow her on Twitter @taronin

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