As a graduate of Michigan State’s College of College of Communication Arts & Sciences, one of my favorite classes was Gender Communication. In all the readings assigned in such classes, I found it to be well documented that both genders cite “lack of communication” as a source of stress in relationships. So, I’m taking it upon myself to help in my own small way. Below are some standard relationship stressors reported by women, followed by a sports-related equivalent. In other words, when his habits are driving you nuts and he just doesn’t seem to get it, use these analogies to speak his language and maybe, just maybe, a light bulb will go off. 1. He doesn’t help around the house If this sounds like your man, ask him the last time his favorite hockey team won a game with only unassisted goals. In hockey, no assist is credited on a goal when only the scorer has a hand in the goal scoring process. This one’s pretty self-explanatory. 2. He throws the laundry NEXT TO the hamper instead of actually IN it In a basketball game, a brick is a shot that bounces hard off the rim or backboard. Players that shoot bricks often get termed “masons” or “brick layers” by the opposing fans in an attempt to humiliate the player. Buy him one of those mini-backboards and tell him to get his shooting percentage up. 3. He’s always late or unorganized Delay of game can be called in a football game when the quarterback hasn’t snapped the ball before the play clock expires or if the team calls a time out after already using all of their allowed timeouts. This penalty call is usually preceded by chaos like players running on and off the field, miscommunication and confusion … imagery, which can seem synonymous with the inner workings of a man’s mind. Remind him how frustrated HE gets when the Lions get called for this on Sundays and he’s sure to understand where you’re coming from. 4. He makes plans for us and doesn’t tell me in advance Your quarterback is working out of a no-huddle. This refers to avoiding the huddle to limit or deny a defense time to substitute players or communicate effectively. Call him on this when he tells you on a Sunday morning that he’s having his boys over for the game and they need you to make your famous buffalo chicken dip or else his team will lose. Ask him to call an audible instead and let you know the plans have changed. 5. He leaves his shoes in front of the door Just look at him and say “two minutes for tripping!” ’Nuff said.