Bikinis. Even the word is ridiculous. Still, I can’t deny that when the brief time in my adult life arrived and I was able to wear the get-up without spilling out of it, I did. Because, well, I suppose as the saying goes “if you’ve got it, flaunt it.” Unfortunately for me, that time was a fleeting moment in history. Also unfortunately for me, it was the same time-frame in which I started dating the guy I am now married to. So imagine his disappointment when just one year after we said “I do,” I said “I don’t” to my bikini. Instead I traded it in for a very adorable tankini from Land’s End. I’m not sure if you’re familiar, but Land’s End tankinis are by far the best bathing suits in the world (I’m not alone, see Shelley’s column). Among their strengths: masking “problem” areas and making you feel free to play Frisbee on the beach without the risk of it becoming nude Frisbee on the beach. Both proud of what a great deal I got on the suit (normally priced around $100, I believe I paid close to half of that), and the fact that the orange color on the top showed off my nicely tanned shoulders, I put the suit on after purchasing it and walked out into the living room to show it off to my better half. “What. Is. That?” He asked like I had a dead animal on my head. “My new bathing suit,” I said, “Duh!” “Is that a scuba suit?” he asked, not joking. At this point I’d like to re-direct you to the second paragraph and point out that what I was wearing was clearly not a scuba suit. And I’d like to remind you that while Land’s End tankinis are good for a lot of things, deep sea diving isn’t one of them. Soon enough Matt came to realize that I was totally serious and that I would not be showing all of the beach and pool crowd what a year of marriage and too few gym visits does to one’s body. I think he was a little crushed. I was not and so as any good man does, he got over it. And this summer, two years after the tankini incident, when I pulled out an amazing vintage-inspired one piece to head to the beach in, he didn’t even flinch. Either he’s well-trained or he thinks I’ve booked a Lake Lansing scuba adventure for us.
Emily Caswell is the Managing Editor of CAWLM. She has a passion for fun, family, friends, shopping sprees, cold drinks and Lansing.