I came prepared with a list … and a lot wine. As someone in my 30s I’ve nearly perfected the art of “the talk” with a heartbroken friend. So, when I woke up to a text from a friend in need, asking if we could do dinner that night to talk, I knew I had to be prepared. For her, a list was necessary. If the ups and downs of relationships have taught me anything, it’s that heartache is The. Worst. And being a typical Type A person, the way I deal with problems — either at the office or at home — is by making a list. As is my nature, this particular list skewed toward the positive. On the spectrum of relationship troubles, my friend is somewhere in the middle. There are problems, but the bottom line is, both parties want to make it work. My friend and I talked and talked, laughed, shared some secrets and in the end, I hope I was able to help. After our night out I realized a couple of things. Friends are a must in pretty much any situation. And I’m doing pretty well for a person who has been through the wringer when it comes to relationships. I’m happy now, which is probably why I am able to be the voice of reason, but man oh man have my relationship troubles been plenty. For starters, I didn’t even have a boyfriend until my early 20s. Lack of experience hurt me in the way that I didn’t know what I was in for. I had little in the way of standards and because of that, a stream of unworthy guys followed. When I met my better half, I freaked, thinking “this is way too easy.” It was. Although he’s my favorite person on the planet, marriage proved to be the true test for us, taking us the better part of two years to really get right. Even today, as any married person can tell you, it takes work, it take commitment, a whole lot of understanding and a good sense of humor. The best thing that came out of the conversation for me, besides the fact that my friend said I truly helped her, was remembering just how strong we are. Love is an amazing thing, but even more amazing is our ability, as humans, to bounce back from heart break. If we’re lucky, we learn and although we may not forget, we can certainly forgive. In the meantime, there is wine.
Emily Caswell is the Managing Editor of CAWLM. She has a passion for fun, family, friends, shopping sprees, cold drinks and Lansing.