Author Gary Chapmen identifies “words of affirmation” as the first love language to be explored. Verbal compliments have been found to bring much greater impact than nagging words. Words of affirmation will strengthen your own resolve as well as those around you. Reminding yourself that words are important will help you to examine how you speak to yourself as well as others.
As you start on your journey to explore words of affirmation, you will want to take a look at how you use them in your everyday life. Chapman suggested keeping a written record for one full week of all the words of affirmation you give your spouse each day. You may find that this is a space in which you can improve or even notice more opportunity to use them in your daily life. Examine how it makes you feel to offer these kind words as well as any changes in your spouse.
A partner who appreciates words of affirmation will thrive upon receiving these kindnesses in any form. While it may be easiest to express admiration verbally, you may also send a wisely timed text or leave a written note. Let your partner know all they do for you is appreciated and mention the unique role they hold in your life. Express affection and gratitude to your partner through praise, let him or her know how much he or she is admired by you, and watch as your relationship starts to shift toward the better.
In today’s world we are surrounded by negative messages that can constantly leave us feeling like we aren’t good enough. Remind your partner why he or she is so good at all he or she does. Provide encouragement when discussing what that person brings to his or her job, your partnership and your family. That can ease self-doubt and bring a warmness that confidence needs to grow. Be sure to compliment your partner in front of others, his or her parents, work colleagues and your children. Not only will your partner feel admired, but those around that person will notice your partner’s positive qualities as well, opening the door for more encouragement to come his or her way.
As you continue your study of the love languages, understand that rarely will all partners in that relationship share the same love language. Hold onto the idea that words have power. When you express your feelings toward that person, do not just express your love, tell him or her why you love them. Whether or not your partner’s love language is words of affirmation, the appreciation will seep into your relationship, making it more positive and much stronger.